By lidy seysener

In this article I would like to ask you a question. Have we somehow lost sight of what creates a successful marriage?

It seems from my numerous emails from you that there is so much hurt and distrust in relationships, that people are attempting to make lifelong decisions about entering into relationships, with their head alone rather than with their head and with their heart together.

I regularly get questions relating to whether the person someone is contemplating for themselves as a partner in marriage is actually the right person for them.

Alternatively, given certain variables that exist eg religious differences, tribal differences, cultural differences or even no differences at all, is there even any hope for this relationship at all.

The sad thing is that given all the concerns people have about how all this is going to work the relationship is already doomed to failure before the couple even exit through the church door.

Getting started in choosing a life partner

The simple act of choosing a life partner is even proving to be hard for people despite the fact that the biggest ever opportunity exists to meet people via the internet than ever before in history.

Once upon a time, and not that long ago, we lived in small villages, many still do, rarely venturing beyond the boundaries of that village in a whole lifetime. We had no newspapers or telecommunication opportunities available to know what was beyond those boundaries and really didn’t feel we needed to.

We grow up, meet and marry all within the confines of the small tribe we were part of. And still today so many people live this way without any question about how to get started choosing a life partner.

And here are some other questions in the same vein that regularly cross my desk

Does age really matter?

How do you really know that you are with the right man?

Are there any guarantees for a lasting relationship?

What are the things to look out for when you are planning to get married?

My answer to every one of these questions is the same. Put your head away for a moment and allow your heart to open. When you really check in with your heart the answer will be there or it becomes evident that the question really doesn’t matter when you are hearing what your heart is telling you.

Maybe we forget the feeling we had in the first stage of our relationship when love was given freely and unconditionally so that when we engage our head, we disengage our heart and start to ask questions that really don’t have, let alone need, an answer.

I am in a relationship with someone who I believe God has told me to be my Life Partner.

The above statement from one of my readers concluded with an account of the approval, and not of other members of the family and clergy. Others’ well meaning statements eroded this person’s heartfelt belief that he had indeed found his Life Partner.

So when I took those other questions away all that was left was this beautiful statement.

“I am in a relationship with someone who I believe God has told me to be my Life Partner.”

For you who wrote this your answer is right there. Give everything you are to this person, love her with all of your heart, mind and soul and that love will show you the way.

About The Author

As a qualified Counselor, Lidy specializes in helping individuals and couples make the most of their lives and their relationships .For more information about me or what I do take a look at my website: http://www.acouplesjourney.com. Enter your details and you will get a free copy of my limited edition ebook titled ‘Relationships - A Couples Journey’.

Tags: For Weddings