By Tom Eggert

Previous generations may have considered divorce to be taboo, or at least something to be avoided at all costs, but current statistics show that half of all marriages today end in divorce. Moreover, of the couples who remain married, around half admit that they’re no longer truly happy in their relationship.

While these statistics may be sobering, they need not imply doom for the future happiness of your marriage. In fact, many couples do build marriages in which both partners continue to grow closer together over time, and you can too. How? Well, one way to make sure your marriage has the best chance possible of success is for your partner and you to seek premarital counseling prior to tying the proverbial knot.

How Can Premarital Counseling Help?

Modern marriages are often far more complex than they were just a couple of generations ago. The challenge of managing multiple careers, children, and social and family responsibilities requires both partners to:

* Establish and maintain priorities and goals

* Communicate freely, openly and often

* Effectively resolve conflicts as they arise

* Work together as a team

* Maintain mutual appreciation and respect

But these abilities only allow the marriage to “work.” Being able to juggle these abilities doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage will be a happy one or that your partner and you will grow closer together over the course of time. For that to occur, your partner and you will also need to:

* Prioritize and make time for your relationship

* Respect and appreciate the personality traits that make each of you unique

* Continue to explore and share life with one another

* Spend time relaxing and playing together

* Devote time to keeping your intimacy and sex life healthy and active

While maturity does enable us to hone some of these skills, it is rare for one or both partners to be adept at all of them.

Unfortunately, far too many couples spend more time planning their weddings than they do discussing these issues, their expectations, and the future they want to build together, let alone spending time and energy making sure their marriage has the solid foundation it needs to succeed.

Premarital counseling can help you and your partner in all of these areas.

First of all, premarital counseling should be approached as an educational process. Premarital counseling is often brief and it shouldn’t be confused with in-depth psychotherapy.

In premarital counseling, a professional marriage counselor or couples therapist can help you and your partner prepare for marriage by helping you:

* Define and share your expectations

* Openly communicate your thoughts, feelings, concerns, and desires

* Develop and improve intimacy skills

* Learn effective conflict resolutions techniques

* Establish mutually agreed upon long-term goals

* Better understand each other’s personalities

Do You Really Need Premarital Counseling?

If you’re like many couples, you may be thinking that your fiancee and you couldn’t possibly fall victim to the statistics quoted above. And you may be right…

Perhaps your partner and you have been living together for some time and are certain that you’re ready for marriage. Even if not, surely the strength of the love you share will be enough to pave the way for a successful marriage. Again, this may be… Only time can truly tell…

However, if you truly love one another and want to give your marriage the best possible chance of success, shouldn’t you be willing to explore of all of the options available to you to ensure your success?

Research has shown that even just a few premarital counseling sessions can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent. Now there’s a statistic that’s cause for hope!

While you may not “need” premarital counseling, you probably don’t need most of your insurance policies either. Does this mean you should just go without insurance?

A professional couples therapist can help your partner and you determine your relationship’s strengths and weaknesses and develop the skills and resources you need to give your marriage the best chances of success.

Even the strongest, happiest marriages encounter obstacles along life’s path. Once you’ve decided to build a life together, premarital counseling could well be the best investment you make in resolving any obstacles that occur and ensuring you create the best life together possible.

About The Author

To learn more about couples counseling and therapy, visit Tom Eggert’s website on marriage counseling in Seattle: http://tomeggertcounseling.com.

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